A relocation prospectus for Ethan & Alanna

Move to Charleston, Illinois. Yes, seriously.

One year. A town of 17,000 in the middle of the American corn supply. Your rent drops by roughly the GDP of a small island, your commute disappears, and you finally build the thing you keep talking about at dinner parties you can no longer afford.

Show me the math I have concerns
No credit card required. Corn included.
Population~17,000 (we'd notice you)
Commute4 minutes, door to door
Pint$4.50
Nearest Pret180 miles (a feature)
SunsetsGenuinely unreasonable
Pricing

Choose your plan.

Both plans include oxygen, weather, and a couple who would very much like to live near you. Only one includes a savings rate that doubles as seed funding.

London
Premium tier · pay more, get a queue
£2,300/mo rent, if you're lucky
  • One pint£7.20
  • Flat white£4.40
  • Commute (each way)52 min
  • A "quick bite"£28
  • Square footageEmotional
  • Monthly burn (two people)£4,500+

Includes: world-class everything you're too tired to attend.

Annual difference: ~£25,000

In London, that's called "gone." In Charleston, it's called runway. Twelve months of living costs banked while you build, not after.

Features

Subtraction as a service.

Charleston's core product is everything it doesn't have. No commute, no noise, no £15 sandwich within 180 miles. What's left over is the stuff founders pay retreats thousands to simulate.

+16 hrs

Time, recovered weekly

Commuting, queueing, and "popping out" quietly eat two full London workdays a week. Here they don't exist. That's a side project's entire staffing plan.

0

Distractions, ambient

There is famously "nothing to do" here. Correct. Which means the thing you're building becomes the most interesting thing in town. Deep work by municipal design.

12 mo

Runway, pre-installed

The London-to-Charleston cost gap funds an entire year of building before revenue. Lowest-risk founder year available in the continental United States.

The Alanna Expansion Pack

"But what would I actually do there?"

A fair question, asked here in advance so it doesn't have to be asked at the kitchen table. The honest answer: Charleston doesn't have much to do. Which means, for one year, you finally have time for everything you've been meaning to do.

Module 01 · Sport

Get genuinely good at golf

A full year of cheap green fees and tee times you don't have to win a lottery for. In London, golf is an event. Here it's a Tuesday. Come back to Europe with a handicap that makes people suspicious.

Module 02 · Water

Learn to fish, with a guide

Jacob has strong and frankly unsolicited opinions about crappie fishing, and Lake Charleston is right there. Free instruction, free gear loans, and bragging rights the first time you out-fish him. (It will happen. He'll be fine.)

Module 03 · Walks

Walk an unreasonable amount

Lake Charleston has miles of trail at the edge of town, Fox Ridge State Park is 15 minutes away with actual wooded ravines, and every walk ends at home instead of a Tube platform. An Irish-grade walking habit, finally given American acreage.

Module 04 · Brain

Learn another language

A year with quiet evenings and no social FOMO is the single best language-learning environment money can't buy in London. There's also a university in town if you want a real classroom instead of an app streak.

Module 05 · Dirt

Grow things with Alyssa

Alyssa gardens, and there is a standing invitation. Actual soil, actual seasons, actual tomatoes. The kind of hobby a London balcony has been quietly denying you.

Module 06 · Pace

Do nothing, on purpose

Slow mornings, big skies, books finished instead of started. A year that runs at the speed of a small town is not a downgrade from London. It's the recovery period London never gives you.

Module 07 · The big one

Two extra trips a year, fully funded by this town

The London-to-Charleston savings don't just sit in an account — they buy travel. At Charleston's burn rate, two additional international trips a year fit inside the difference with room to spare. Chicago flies direct to Dublin, so home is one flight away, not a layover odyssey.

Includes complimentary door-to-gate shuttle service, operated by Jacob. Tips refused. Gas money refused harder.

Honest FAQ

Your concerns, addressed with the candor they deserve.

Is there good food?

There is food.

Real answer: you'll cook more, and your kitchen will be bigger than your current flat. There are solid local spots, a proper farmers market in season, and when you need a real food city, St. Louis and Indianapolis are about 2.5 hours away and Chicago is 3.

What's the nightlife like?

You will be so productive.

Real answer: Charleston is a college town — Eastern Illinois University brings concerts, games, theater, and an actual pulse nine months a year. It's not Shoreditch. It's also not pretending to be.

Alanna asks: is there an Irish pub?

There is a pub, and you can make it Irish.

Real answer: pints are $4.50 and the bartender will know your name by week two. A Dubliner has never had this much market influence over a local bar's Guinness procurement strategy.

Ethan asks: where are the mountains?

The terrain is committed to a theme.

Real answer: it's flat. Gloriously, bike-it-forever flat. But Fox Ridge State Park is 15 minutes south with real wooded ravines and trails, Lake Charleston has miles of trail at the edge of town, and the sunsets go fully horizon-to-horizon in a way Vancouver's mountains have been blocking your whole life.

Is it like London?

In that both have weather, yes.

Real answer: it's the opposite of London, which is the entire point. You're not moving here for what it has. You're moving here for what it doesn't take from you.

What if we hate it?

The lease ends. That's the product.

Real answer: this is a 12-month experiment with a guaranteed exit and a five-figure savings account on the way out. Worst case, you return to London with runway and a story. Best case, you return with a company.

A note from the founders

Okay, dropping the bit for a second.

Here's the honest version. Alyssa and I are here, and we'd genuinely love to have you two close — dinners that don't require a calendar invite three weeks out, weekends at the lake, someone to talk shop with who isn't on a video call.

And the math up there isn't a joke. A year here at your London salaries (or while building something new) is the cheapest, lowest-risk swing at a business either of you will ever get. Quiet town, loud ideas.

One year. If it's not for you, London will still be there — expensive, magnificent, and exactly where you left it.

— Jacob & Alyssa

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